Saturday, October 8, 2011

Consuming for Christ

When I was 15 I saved every hard-earned babysitting penny I made to buy tapes, posters, buttons and t-shirts from concerts I never saw. It was the only way to prove that I was the ultimate number one most sincere and devoted Cure fan of all time, and that I'd loved them way before I ever heard Just Like Heaven on the radio. I pored over the 4 point font sized lyrics in the fold-outs. Studied, memorized, bathed in Robert Smith's words- I repeated them often, loudly, obnoxiously. Because I was the original Cure fan and everyone else was a poser. My Cure collection was my identity. My very soul turned reel to reel on shiny brown ribbons. Sometimes it slowed, shrieked and spat out the side of the tape player. Which hurt. A LOT.

Shortly after my conversion to Christ I realized my need to look and act all Christiany to prove that I was really in the club. Like many American Christians I began acquiring Jesus stuff. Because you see, just as ballet shoes are required for a proper, pliƩ, one must wear Jesus shoes to be His daughter. And if you can't find Jesus shoes you need to go to Hobby Lobby and buy all the craft items needed to make your own. Really, you should start there, because ready-made Jesus shoes aren't as pleasing to God. Christian books, study Bibles, concordances, ornamental crosses, cds & dvds, scripture-printed frames, nativity Christmas ornaments to replace your pagan Santas, angel figurines- You need all these. These holy things will remind you that you are holy- and you'd better act holy, too.

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